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Poem by Charlotte Mary Mew


The Fête


        To-night again the moon’s white mat
          Stretches across the dormitory floor
      While outside, like an evil cat
        The pion prowls down the dark corridor,
        Planning, I know, to pounce on me, in spite
      For getting leave to sleep in town last night.
      But it was none of us who made that noise,
        Only the old brown owl that hoots and flies
      Out of the ivy--he will say it was us boys--
        Seigneur mon Dieu! the sacré soul of spies!
        He would like to catch each dream that lies
          Hidden behind our sleepy eyes:
      Their dream? But mine--it is the moon and the wood that sees;
      All my long life how I shall hate the trees!

      In the Place d’Armes, the dusty planes, all Summer through
      Dozed with the market women in the sun and scarcely stirred
        To see the quiet things that crossed the Square--,
      A tiny funeral, the flying shadow of a bird,
        The hump-backed barber Célestin Lemaire,
        Old madame Michel in her three-wheeled chair,
            And filing past to Vespers, two and two,
            The demoiselles of the pensionnat.
      Towed like a ship through the harbour bar,
        Safe into port, where le petit Jésus
      Perhaps makes nothing of the look they shot at you:
        Si, c’est défendu, mais que voulez-vous?
      It was the sun. The sunshine weaves
      A pattern on dull stones: the sunshine leaves
        The portraiture of dreams upon the eyes
            Before it dies:
        All Summer through
      The dust hung white upon the drowsy planes
      Till suddenly they woke with the Autumn rains.
          It is not only the little boys
          Who have hardly got away from toys,
      But I, who am seventeen next year,
      Some nights, in bed, have grown cold to hear
            That lonely passion of the rain
      Which makes you think of being dead,
      And of somewhere living to lay your head
            As if you were a child again,
      Crying for one thing, known and near
      Your empty heart, to still the hunger and the fear
        That pelts and beats with it against the pane.

            But I remember smiling too
      At all the sun’s soft tricks and those Autumn dreads
        In winter time, when the grey light broke slowly through
      The frosted window-lace to drag us shivering from our beds.
        And when at dusk the singing wind swung down
      Straight from the stars to the dark country roads
                  Beyond the twinkling town,
        Striking the leafless poplar boughs as he went by,
      Like some poor, stray dog by the wayside lying dead,
      We left behind us the old world of dread,
      I and the wind as we strode whistling on under the Winter sky.

      And then in Spring for three days came the Fair
        Just as the planes were starting into bud
      Above the caravans: you saw the dancing bear
        Pass on his chain; and heard the jingle and the thud.
            Only four days ago
            They let you out of this dull show
      To slither down the montagne russe and chaff the man à la
              tête de veau--
            Hit, slick, the bull’s eye at the tir,
      Spin round and round till your head went queer
      On the porcs-roulants. Oh! là là! la fête!
      Va pour du vin, et le tête-a-tête
      With the girl who sugars the quafres! Pauvrette,
        How thin she was; but she smiled, you bet,
        As she took your tip--“One does not forget
      The good days, Monsieur.” Said with a grace,
      But sacrébleu! what a ghost of a face!
        And no fun too for the demoiselles
      Of the pensionnat, who were hurried past,
        With their “Oh, que c’est beau--Ah, qu’elle est belle!”
      A lap-dog’s life from first to last!
      The good nights are not made for sleep, nor the good days
              for dreaming in,
        And at the end in the big Circus tent we sat and shook
              and stewed like sin!

        Some children there had got--but where?
      Sent from the south, perhaps--a red bouquet
        Of roses, sweetening the fetid air
      With scent from gardens by some far away blue bay.
        They threw one at the dancing bear;
      The white clown caught it. From St. Rémy’s tower
        The deep, slow bell tolled out the hour;
      The black clown, with his dirty grin
        Lay, sprawling in the dust, as She rode in.

      She stood on a white horse--and suddenly you saw the bend
        Of a far-off road at dawn, with knights riding by,
      A field of spears--and then the gallant day
      Go out in storm, with ragged clouds low down, sullen and grey
        Against red heavens: wild and awful, such a sky
        As witnesses against you at the end
      Of a great battle; bugles blowing, blood and dust--
      The old Morte d’Arthur, fight you must--.
        It died in anger. But it was not death
        That had you by the throat, stopping your breath.
      She looked like Victory. She rode my way.

      She laughed at the black clown and then she flew
        A bird above us, on the wing
      Of her white arms; and you saw through
      A rent in the old tent, a patch of sky
      With one dim star. She flew, but not so high--
            And then she did not fly;
      She stood in the bright moonlight at the door
      Of a strange room, she threw her slippers on the floor--
                    Again, again
            You heard the patter of the rain,
            The starving rain--it was this Thing,
      Summer was this, the gold mist in your eyes;--
                    Oh God! it dies,
                    But after death--,
        To-night the splendour and the sting
        Blows back and catches at your breath,
      The smell of beasts, the smell of dust, the scent of all the
              roses in the world, the sea, the Spring,
      The beat of drums, the pad of hoofs, music, the dream,
              the dream, the Enchanted Thing!

        At first you scarcely saw her face,
        You knew the maddening feet were there,
      What called was that half-hidden, white unrest
      To which now and then she pressed
        Her finger tips; but as she slackened pace
        And turned and looked at you it grew quite bare:
            There was not anything you did not dare:--
      Like trumpeters the hours passed until the last day of the Fair.

        In the Place d’Armes all afternoon
        The building birds had sung “Soon, soon,”
      The shuttered streets slept sound that night,
                    It was full moon:
      The path into the wood was almost white,
      The trees were very still and seemed to stare:
        Not far before your soul the Dream flits on,
        But when you touch it, it is gone
      And quite alone your soul stands there.

      Mother of Christ, no one has seen your eyes: how can men pray
                  Even unto you?
      There were only wolves’ eyes in the wood--
                  My Mother is a woman too:
      Nothing is true that is not good,
      With that quick smile of hers, I have heard her say;--
      I wish I had gone back home to-day;
        I should have watched the light that so gently dies
        From our high window, in the Paris skies,
                  The long, straight chain
        Of lamps hung out along the Seine:
      I would have turned to her and let the rain
      Beat on her breast as it does against the pane;--
        Nothing will be the same again;--
      There is something strange in my little Mother’s eyes,
      There is something new in the old heavenly air of Spring--
      The smell of beasts, the smell of dust--The Enchanted Thing!

      All my life long I shall see moonlight on the fern
        And the black trunks of trees. Only the hair
      Of any woman can belong to God.
      The stalks are cruelly broken where we trod,
                  There had been violets there,
                  I shall not care
      As I used to do when I see the bracken burn.



Charlotte Mary Mew


Charlotte Mary Mew's other poems:
  1. Beside the Bed
  2. May 1915
  3. The Narrow Door
  4. Monsieur Qui Passe
  5. On the Road to the Sea


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