Poem by Anonymous

Poor Beasts!

The horse and mule live 30 years 
And nothing know of wines and beers. 
The goat and sheep at 20 die 
And never taste of Scotch or Rye. 
The cow drinks water by the ton 
And at 18 is mostly done. 
The dog at 15 cashes in 
Without the aid or rum and gin. 
The cat in milk and water soaks 
And then in 12 short years it croaks. 
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen 
Lays eggs for nogs, then dies at 10.
All animals are strictly dry: 
They sinless live and swiftly die;
But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men 
Survive for three score years and ten. 
And some of them, a very few, 
Stay pickled till they’re 92.

1. Shakespeare’s Monument at Stratford-upon-Avon
2. Bide ye yet by
3. Sir Richard Whittington’s Advancement
4. The Guard-Chamber
5. The Bells of Fletching

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