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Poem by Robert William Service


Id hate to be centipede (of legs Ive only two),
For if new trousers I should need (as oftentimes I do),
The bill would come to such a lot twould tax an Astorbilt,
Or else Id have to turn a Scot and caper in a kilt.

Im jolly glad I havent got a neck like a giraffe.
Id want to tie it in a knot and shorten it by half.
Or, as I wear my collars high, how laundry men would gloat!
And what a lot of beer Id buy to lubricate my throat!

Id hate to be a goldfish, snooping round a crystal globe,
A naughty little bold fish, that distains chemise of robe.
The public stare I couldnt bear, if naked as a stone,
And when my toilet I prepare, Id rather be alone.

Id hate to be an animal, an insect or a fish.
To be the least like bird or beast Ive not the slightest wish.
Its best I find to be resigned, and stick to Natures plan:
Content am I to live and die, just  Ordinary MAN.

Robert William Service

Robert William Service's other poems:
  1. The Wee Shop
  2. The Sum-Up
  3. Resolutions
  4. The Robbers
  5. Pedlar

Poems of the other poets with the same name:

  • Alfred Austin Resignation ("Since we the march of Time can not arrest")
  • Charles Mackay Resignation ("In cold misfortune's cheerless day")

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