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Ogden Nash (Огден Фредерик Нэш)


No, You Be a Lone Eagle


I find it very hard to be fair-minded
About people who go around being air-minded.
I just can't see any fun
In soaring up up up into the sun
When the chances are still a fresh cool orchid to a paper geranium
That you'll unsoar down down down onto your (to you) invaluable
   cranium.
I know the constant refrain
About how safer up in God's trafficless heaven than in an automobile
   or a train
But…
My God, have you ever taken a good look at a strut?
Then that one about how you're in Boston before you can say antidis-
   establishmentarianism
So that preferring to take five hours by rail is a pernicious example of
   antiquarianism.
At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing
   in the South Station
And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of
   aviation.
Then, despite the assurance that aeroplanes are terribly comfortable I
   notice that when you are railroading or automobiling
You don't have to take a paper bag along just in case of a funny feeling.
It seems to me that no kind of depravity
Brings such speedy retribution as ignoring the law of gravity.
Therefore nobody could possibly indict me for perjury
When I swear that I wish the Wright brothers had gone in for silver
   fox farming or tree surgery.



Ogden Nash's other poems:
  1. Come on in, the Senility Is Fine
  2. A Crusader's Wife Slipped from the Garrison
  3. Nothing Makes Me Sicker
  4. A Word to Husbands
  5. Kipling's Vermont


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