Andrew Barton Paterson (Эндрю Бартон Патерсон)

The Matrimonial Stakes

I wooed her with a steeplechase, I won her with a fall, 
I made her heartstrings quiver on the flat 
When the pony missed his take-off, and we crached into the wall; 
Well, she simply had to have me after that! 
It awoke a thrill of int’rest when they pulled me out for dead 
From beneath the shattered ruins of a horse; 
And althought she looked indifferent when I landed -- on my head -- 
In the water, it appealed to her, of course! 

When I won the Flappers’ Flatrace it was ”all Sir Garneo”, 
For she praised the way I made my final run. 
And she thought the riding won it -- for how could the poor girl know 
That a monkey could have ridden it and won! 

Then they ”weighed me in” a winner -- it’s not often that occurs! 
So I didn’t let my golden chances slip, 
For I showed her all the blood-marks where I jabbed him with the spurs, 
And the whip-strokes where I hit him with the whip. 

Then I asked her if she loved me, and she seemed inclined to shirk 
For a moment so I took her by the head 
(So to speak) and rushed her at it; and she seemed to like the work 
When she kissed me, though she blushed a rosy red. 

She’s a mouth as soft as velvet, and she plenty has of heart, 
I could worship every little step she takes; 
And the saddleng-bell is ringing, so we’re going to the start, 
Certain winners of the Matrimonial Stakes!

1. There’s Another Blessed Horse Fell Down
2. The Wargeilah Handicap
3. The Maori’s Wool
4. “Shouting” for a Camel
5. The Man Who Was Away

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