George Pope Morris

The Retort

OLD Nick, who taught the village school,
    Wedded a maid of homespun habit; 
He was as stubborn as a mule,
    She was as playful as a rabbit.

Poor Jane had scarce become a wife,
    Before her husband sought to make her 
The pink of country-polished life,
    And prim and formal as a Quaker.

One day the tutor went abroad,
    And simple Jenny sadly missed him; 
When he returned, behind her lord
    She slyly stole, and fondly kissed him!

The husband's anger rose!--and red
    And white his face alternate grew! 
"Less freedom, ma'am!" Jane sighed and said,
    "Oh dear! I didn't know 'twas you!"