Anonymous

All’s Well That Ends Well

A Friend of mine was married to a scold;
To me he came, and all his troubles told. 
Said he, “She’s like a woman raving mad.” 
“Alas! my friend,” said I, “that’s very bad!”
“No, not so bad”, said he; “for, with her, true 
I had both house and land, and money, too.” 
    	“That was well”, said I;
    	“No, not so well”, said he; 
	“For I and her own brother 
	Went to law with one another; 
	I was cast, the suit was lost, 
And every penny went to pay the cost.”
    	“That was bad”, said I;
    	“No, not so bad”, said he; 
“For we agreed that he the house should keep,
And give to me four score of Yorkshire sheep 
And fat, and fair, and fine, they were to be.”   
“Well, then,” said I, ‘sure that was well for thee?”
    	“Not so well”, said he  
    	“For, when the sheep I got, 
    	They every one died of the rot.”    
    	“That was bad”, said I;
    	“No, not so bad”, said he; 
    	“For I had thought to scrape the fat 
    	And keep it in an oaken vat;
Then into tallow melt for winter store.”
“Well, then,” said I, that’s better than before?”
    	“ ’Twas not so well,” said he;
    	“For having got a clumsy fellow
    	To scrape the fat and melt the tallow;
Into the melting fat the fire catches, 
    	And, like brimstone matches,
    	Burnt my house to ashes.” 
    	“That was bad”, said I;
No! not so bad,” said he; “for, what is best, 
My scolding wife has gone among the rest.”