William Schwenck Gilbert

Songs of a Savoyard. The Policeman’s Lot

When a felon’s not engaged in his employment,
   Or maturing his felonious little plans,
His capacity for innocent enjoyment
   Is just as great as any honest man’s.
Our feelings we with difficulty smother
   When constabulary duty’s to be done:
Ah, take one consideration with another,
   A policeman’s lot is not a happy one!

When the enterprising burglar isn’t burgling,
   When the cut-throat isn’t occupied in crime,
He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling,
   And listen to the merry village chime.
When the coster’s finished jumping on his mother,
   He loves to lie a-basking in the sun:
Ah, take one consideration with another,
   The policeman’s lot is not a happy one!