Ellis Parker Butler

Circumstantial Evidence

She does not mind a good cigar
  (The kind, that is, I smoke);
She thinks all men quite stupid are,
  (But laughs whene’er I joke).

She says she does not care for verse
  (But praises all I write);
She says that punning is a curse,
  (But then mine are so bright!)

She does not like a big moustache
  (You see that mine is small);
She hates a man with too much “dash,”
  (I scarcely dash at all!)

She simply dotes on hazel eyes
  (And mine, you note, are that);
She likes a man of portly size;
  (Gad! I am getting fat!)

She says champagne is made to drink;
  (In this we quite agree!)
And all these symptoms make me think
  Sweet Kate’s in love with me.